One Wrong Number
by Fabius Maximus
Summary: How much trouble can a wrong address cause?  You wouldn't believe it...


Cakes, Villains, and wrong addresses.

* * *

"OK Wade," Ron said, lurking out side of the lair. Well is was actually a banquet hall in Las Vegas, but hey, it was the villains that made the lair, and they were all there…. Except for Shego and every other female villain who had apparently decided to take the weekend off. Something about "male Chauvinist pigs."

Well, that made it easier for Kim and him.

"Right Ron—the Cake is coming in now—Kim will jump out of it and you come up from behind."

"Gotcha." The fanfare of music rose up…Ron entered into the room stealthly… Not that he needed to. The music was loud, and there were the entire clan of mad geniuses, scientists and minions, wearing silly hats and laughing as the big cake got wheeled into the middle. There was Dementor, Drakken, and all the others, with a big sign saying "3.65 x 103 days of villainy". The music swelled…it was time! As the cake erupted outward, Ron lept into the back and shouted:

"THIS IS A RAID!" There was dead silence for a moment. Ron waited for Kim's response.

It didn't come. He kept his eyes on the villains. No doubt KP was doing something. Then Rufus, at his shoulder, started frantically pointing.

"What is it, little buddy?" Ron said and looked over at KP.

And blinked.

And blinked again.

That wasn't KP in a micromesh bikini and top hat. She was too tall, a few years too old, had the wrong color hair, and urm… bigger attributes.

"Are you part of the act?" Miss Kumquat (2002) asked in confusion. "They said I was just going to be doing a few dances for the Anniversary party."

"Um…. Urm…." Ron said intelligently, while the audience looked back and forth.

"Wade!" he shouted frantically into his communicator. "Kim's not here!"

"But I sent her to the place listed on Invoice #02231!" Wade protested. Ron grabbed the piece of paper from his pocket.

"#02231? It was "#0223**_2_**!"

"Um…." Wade said. "Then where is Kim going?"

"I don't know—wait a minute, I'll ask-" Suddenly Ron was surrounded by Goons. Goons in silly hats, but nonetheless, Goons. The rest of the audience turned back to Miss Kumquat, who, having already been paid by the agency, launched into her first number.

Ron really wished he could see that, but his sight was then obscured as a pile of Goon's covered him. However, since they asked the uninvolved parties to make a video tape…maybe he could borrow it.

* * *

Kim waited in the cake, trying to keep from sneezing. She'd had to infiltrate the agency in a bikini, but she'd managed to sneak a vest with her, which made her feel…

Unprotected. Especially given that she only had on a bikini, a vest that normally went over her mission shirt, and that silly top hat for the routine. She was going to lose that the moment she jumped out. Still, with Ron at the rear, and herself in the front, with a comlink that could summon GJ, she'd be able to take them all down. The cake stopped moving. Now. It was time.

She erupted out of the cake spinning in the air and landing on a table, in a combat stance.

"THIS IS A RAID!" She shouted. "Drakken, Dementor, don't make any….trouble…" Her voice trailed off.

This didn't look like the banquet hall. It looked like a high tech command center. Full of nerdish types in silly space hats. A banner above them read:

"Middleton Space Center 30th anniversary celebration!" Under it, in geek, another banner:

"Congratulations on 3.21x107 Miles Traveled." Everyone was looking at her. She looked at everyone. Suddenly Kim realized she _knew_ half these people, and with a scream, vanished back into the cake. She pulled out her Kimmunicator.

"Wade." She said in a quiet, calm voice. "I'm not at Las Vegas."

"I know….I mis-typed the orders." Wade said, "I hope it wasn't embarrassing."

"Wade….when I'm no longer grounded, I'm going to kill you." Kim said. "Lucky for you…that's probably not going to be for a while."

"Kimmie-cub?" A very familiar voice said just outside the cake. "I believe we need to have a little talk…after you put this on." A lab coat fell over her head.

"OK Daddy." A sudden thought hit her.

"Hey, does _mom_ know you're here?"

"She's going to have to know now….since I'm going to have to tell her why you're grounded."

"Sigh."

* * *

_One month later._

"Look!" Shego said to the phone. "Can't you just unground her long enough to rescue the sidekick? I mean that rat thing is really, really getting on my nerves!" She paused, "I have to drive down, get his homework, turn it in—and I don't see why because he always gets F's and D's, but Drakken also lets him go out on the town…he's not a prisoner, he's a house guest who doesn't pay RENT!"

"You can't? Why, you're her father!"

"Oh."

"_Oh." _She paused, and grinned a Shego grin. "So the wife grounded you as well… Well good for her. No, I _didn't_ consider that career!" She slammed down the phone.

Shego flumphed down into the chair, as Drakken came up to her blinking.

"Shego! It's Pork Chop night!"

"I know, Dr. D…and by the way, prisoners? They're supposed to be in cells, not cooking or turning the main lab into a kitchen/dining complex."

"But Shego…he's such a good cook! Not only that, now that we have the only official "Evil Lair Buffet" in the world, every other villain is coming here to eat—why DNAmy's patronage alone has put us well on the way to paying off the lease!"

"And in danger of having to buy a forklift for _you!_ " Shego said, poking his belly. "It gets bigger every day."

"You eat as much as I do." Drakken said.

"And I excer…" Shego sniffed the aroma coming from the dining area. It did smell good. "OK…but Kimmie'd better get ungrounded sooner or later, or you and the goons are going to become spheres, and I'm going to go broke with all these health club memberships."

_End_


End file.
